Taking the First Step
For siblings, being together is where they truly belong. In this blog series, James and Mark share their adoption journey with Family Adoption Links Leicestershire, and how it inspired them to open their hearts and home to two brothers, giving them the chance to grow-up, side by side as a family.
Join us each week as they reflect on every step of their journey, from first exploring the possibility of adoption, through the assessment process and matching, to the life-changing moment they went from being a family of two to a family of four.
Names have been changed to protect the identities of the children and family. The family’s story has been shared with permission.
James and Mark share how they began their adoption journey expecting to adopt one child but found themselves becoming parents to two brothers who they couldn’t imagine separating.
When James and Mark first got together, parenthood wasn’t part of the plan.
While James had always imagined having children one day, Mark was convinced family life wasn’t for him. He enjoyed the freedom and flexibility of life without children and couldn’t picture himself becoming a parent.
But over time, things began to change.
They had watched their own nieces and nephews grow up and started to see family life differently. Slowly, conversations about the future became conversations about parenthood, and eventually those conversations led them to consider adoption.
“We kept saying, ‘Let’s sleep on it and talk again tomorrow,'” they recall. Every step was carefully considered, and every decision was made together.
Making the first enquiry
Like many prospective adopters, James and Mark had questions and concerns. They wondered whether they were ready for such a life-changing commitment and what family life might look like in reality.
The more they learned about adoption, however, the more confident they became that it was the right path for them.
What they didn’t know at the time was that their journey would eventually lead them to two brothers waiting for a family.
Why Siblings Mattered
At the start of the process, James and Mark imagined adopting one child.
But reflecting on their own childhood experiences made them think differently about sibling relationships.
James had grown up close to his siblings and understood the importance of having someone by your side through life’s difficulties. Mark, who experienced a large age gap with his sister, remembered periods of loneliness and often wished he had experienced a closer sibling connection during childhood.
As they moved through the adoption process, they became increasingly aware of how important sibling relationships can be for children who have already experienced loss and change.
“You can’t replace that bond,” they explain. “You argue, you squabble, but your siblings are always there.”
The more they talked, the more adoption felt like the right path for them.
What began as occasional conversations about the future had become something much more real.
They were ready to find out whether adoption could be part of their lives.
Next: Taking the First Step
How one phone call turned years of conversations into the beginning of an adoption journey.
