Nobody Told Us This Part
For siblings, being together is where they truly belong. In this blog series, James and Mark share their adoption journey and how it inspired them to open their hearts and home to two brothers, giving them the chance to grow-up, side by side as a family.
Names have been changed to protect the identities of the children and family. The family’s story has been shared with permission.
For months, James and Mark had imagined the day Oliver and Harry would finally come home.
But when that day arrived, it wasn’t how they expected it to feel.
Learning From the Foster Carers
The transition period gave everyone time to build relationships gradually.
James and Mark spent time in the boys’ familiar environment, learning routines and getting to know them better.
The foster carers played a huge role during this time. They shared practical advice, explained what worked well and helped the boys prepare for the move.
Looking back, James and Mark are incredibly grateful for everything they learned during that period.
“They knew the boys better than anyone.” Those conversations would prove invaluable.
More Than Gaining a Family
As the move got closer, excitement grew. But there was also something else.
Sadness. The boys weren’t just gaining a family; they were leaving one too.
They were saying goodbye to people who had loved, cared for and supported them since they were babies.
James and Mark became increasingly aware of just how emotional the move was for everyone involved.
The Final Goodbye
On the morning, they collected the boys, something felt different. The usual excitement wasn’t there.
Everyone knew what the day meant. The foster carers were holding back tears and the boys seemed quieter. Nobody knew what to say.
“The atmosphere was completely different,” they recall.
For the first time, the reality of the goodbye had landed.
When the boys asked if they could say goodbye again before leaving, it was one of the hardest moments of the entire journey.
“It’s Going to Be Okay”
Once the boys were settled in the car, James and Mark looked back at them.
Neither child appeared excited. Instead, they looked uncertain and understandably so.
Their lives were changing forever. What do you say in a moment like that?
Mark remembers turning around and simply saying:
“It’s going to be okay.”
Driving Towards a New Life
The journey home felt very different from every previous visit. This time there would be no return journey or handover. No goodbye at the end of the day.
The boys were coming home for good and that evening, after bedtime, James and Mark sat downstairs with a takeaway and looked at each other.
For the first time, they allowed themselves to realise what had happened.
There were two children asleep upstairs and they had just become parents.
Looking Ahead
Bringing the boys home felt like the end of one journey. It was only the beginning.
The weeks ahead would bring challenges they never anticipated, lessons they never expected and moments that would completely reshape their understanding of parenting.
Coming Next: Nobody Told Us This Part
The boys were finally home. But now came the reality of trauma, attachment, routines and learning how to become the parents their children needed.
