Therapeutic Parenting Takeaways

Families and professionals have recently enjoyed an insightful one day course with renowned Therapeutic Parenting expert Sarah Naish. These principles are especially helpful for children who have experienced trauma or early adversity, here’s five top tips you may find useful…

1. Stay calm and regulate yourself first

Children with trauma histories often struggle with self-regulation and may display challenging behaviours. As a therapeutic parent, it’s crucial to remain calm and regulated yourself. Your ability to stay composed in stressful situations teaches your child how to manage their own emotions and builds a safe environment. Take deep breaths, pause before reacting, and model emotional control.

2. Use empathy, not consequences

Traditional discipline methods like punishment or reward systems can backfire with children who’ve experienced trauma. Instead of consequences, respond with empathy. Validate your child’s feelings, even when their behaviour is difficult. For example, say, “I can see you’re really upset right now” rather than immediately addressing the behaviour. This helps your child feel understood, and it reinforces connection rather than shame.

3. P.A.R.E.N.T.S. Model

Sarah Naish advocates for the P.A.R.E.N.T.S. model:

• Predictable routines: Offer consistency to reduce anxiety.
• Acceptance: Accept your child for who they are now, not who they might become.
• Responsive parenting: Notice their needs and respond with care.
• Empathy: Show compassion for their struggles.
• Nurturing: Be nurturing, even when they push you away.
• Time-In: Use time-in instead of time-out to reconnect during challenging moments.
• Safe Base: Create a safe, stable, and predictable home environment

4. Give Clear, Simple Instructions

Children from trauma backgrounds may struggle with executive functioning and processing complex information. Give clear, concise instructions, and use visual or physical cues if needed. For example, instead of saying, “Go get dressed, make your bed, and come down for breakfast,” break it down: “First, put on your clothes, then come to me.” Providing one instruction at a time reduces overwhelm.

5. Provide High Levels of Structure and Supervision

Therapeutic parenting emphasizes the need for consistent structure. Routines create safety for children who’ve experienced unpredictability. Explain what is going to happen in advance, keep transitions smooth, and offer reassurance. Supervision, especially during free time, ensures that children don’t get overwhelmed or dysregulated when left to their own devices, which can often lead to challenging behaviours.

These tips, grounded in Therapeutic Parenting, focus on building trust, offering safety, and fostering emotional connection while addressing the underlying needs behind behaviours rather than simply reacting to them. Check out this useful Youtube Channel for the Centre of Excellence in Childhood Trauma.