The Attachment Pledge by Dr Dan Hughes, Ph.D.

Toddler in the arms of their parent

As a child gradually develops a secure attachment with you, their parents,  they develop a positive and integrated sense of self.  Dr Dan Hughes’ Attachment Pledge is a really useful point of reference for all adoptive parents.

I will strive to help you ….. to feel safe here

I will discover ….. what is unique about you

I will relate to you with ….. Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, Empathy

I will discover your ….. strengths & vulnerabilities

I will listen to you very hard ….. to understand your experience

I will give you what you need …..  for safety & success

I will remember ….. that you often feel fear & shame

I will never leave you ….. when you are in distress

I will not ….. forget you when we are apart

I will love & accept you …..especially when I address your behaviour

I will remember ….. why you argue with me, ignore me, and do not trust me

I will help you to discover ….. what you and I both think, feel, and want

I will teach you ….. by sharing my experience of you & the world with you

I will always remember ….. that attachment relationships are very important to you

I will be very clear ….. in telling you what is happening & what is going to happen

I will provide you ….. with routines & rituals that you will become comfortable with

I will care for myself …… so that I am better able to care for you

I will discover ….. the song that is in your heart

And ….. sing it to you when you forget it

© DDP Network, 2014. All rights reserved