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The Attachment Pledge by Dr Dan Hughes, Ph.D.

Why not print and refer to this when you need to?

Toddler in the arms of their parent

Toddler in the arms of their parent


As a child gradually develops a secure attachment with you, their parents,  they develop a positive and integrated sense of self.  Dr Dan Hughes’ Attachment Pledge is a really useful point of reference for all adoptive parents.

I will strive to help you ….. to feel safe here

I will discover ….. what is unique about you

I will relate to you with ….. Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, Empathy

I will discover your ….. strengths & vulnerabilities

I will listen to you very hard ….. to understand your experience

I will give you what you need …..  for safety & success

I will remember ….. that you often feel fear & shame

I will never leave you ….. when you are in distress

I will not ….. forget you when we are apart

I will love & accept you …..especially when I address your behaviour

I will remember ….. why you argue with me, ignore me, and do not trust me

I will help you to discover ….. what you and I both think, feel, and want

I will teach you ….. by sharing my experience of you & the world with you

I will always remember ….. that attachment relationships are very important to you

I will be very clear ….. in telling you what is happening & what is going to happen

I will provide you ….. with routines & rituals that you will become comfortable with

I will care for myself …… so that I am better able to care for you

I will discover ….. the song that is in your heart

And ….. sing it to you when you forget it

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