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Lockdown was life-changing for all of us but especially for Anton and Tony as they brought their new sons William and Freddie home just before the first lockdown.
Adopting William and Freddie is the best thing we have ever done. They are our children and we would not change a thing.
These powerful words come from Anton and Tony, a couple who recently adopted brothers William and Freddie with help from Family Adoption Links.
Anton recalls this unique lockdown period as a wonderful opportunity for the family to get to know each other without any other distractions enabling them to create lasting family bonds and help the children settle into their new surroundings.
From the very start, Anton and Tony passionately believed that brothers and sisters should have the chance to grow up together if possible. “Keeping the boys together has given them an extra level of family identity and it’s helped us feel more like a family somehow.” they enthused.
The couple went on to explain “At times there is sibling rivalry but at other times the bond between Freddie and William is lovely to see. The children give each other support and as William’s speech has improved, they play together and enjoy each other even more. They would be lost without each other and we feel sad at the thought they may have been separated if we had not adopted them.”
Anton and Tony find that having two children has at times been easier than one, they entertain each other and being all together felt like a family from the beginning. The changes to their life have been huge but incredibly positive; Anton describes their daily routine as very normal but also very different to the days before they had children. Family life is now based around swimming lessons, gymnastics club, playdates and helping the children settle into their new school/nursery.
“We didn’t know if we would ever have children so it’s always special to us to do normal family things like playdates, parent’s evenings and family days out.” explained the new parents. “Our biggest challenge has been adapting to children with different needs due to their ages but the joys completely outweigh the challenges.”
Tony observes that other than having twins, it is usual to start with one child and add another, and that as the boys were 2 and 5 when they came home, they already had opinions and preferences which they had to work around.
Anton and Tony feel it probably took about 8 months for William and Freddie to feel fully settled into their new family and to trust that they will stay forever. William would sometimes ask if he was going back to his foster parents and needed time to adjust to the changes. They have needed patience and reassurance, which Tony reflects is what all parents naturally do for their children. They are proud to see William and Freddie becoming more confident and building up their friendship circles. William is confident enough to go to his first birthday party next week, a milestone for the whole family to celebrate.
Tony and Anton’s advice to anyone thinking about adoption is to take the process at your own pace and to talk to other adopters if possible. Having two children has meant they had to hit the ground running so you have to be prepared to work hard at the beginning, but the joys far outweigh the challenges. William and Freddie are their sons and they would not change a thing.
If you would like to become a parent through adoption why not come to our next online Adoption Information event. Check out the dates and how to register on our Events page.
Names have been changed to protect identities.