Christmas Party
Here are ten top tips for a successful Christmas with adopted children, focusing on making them feel secure, included, and supported during the festive season…
1. Manage expectations early
Adopted children may have mixed feelings about Christmas, especially if they come from a background where holidays were stressful or inconsistent. Talk with your child early on about what to expect and give them space to share their feelings and worries.
2. Create new family traditions
Establishing new traditions together can help your child feel like a valued part of the family. Involve them in choosing some activities or rituals that will become part of your family’s unique holiday celebrations.
3. Keep familiar routines
Children who have experienced instability may find the festivities overwhelming. Keeping familiar daily routines in place (meals, bedtime, etc.) can help maintain a sense of security amidst the excitement.
4. Be mindful of triggers
For children from trauma backgrounds, certain holiday events—like large gatherings, loud noises, or unfamiliar environments—might trigger anxiety or negative emotions. Be sensitive to your child’s needs, and provide an escape plan or quiet space if necessary.
5. Encourage open conversations
Allow your child to talk about their feelings, especially if they have memories of Christmases before adoption. They may experience grief, confusion, or joy. Let them know it’s okay to feel a range of emotions and that you’re there to support them.
6. Offer choices and control
Giving your child some choice and control can help them feel more secure. Whether it’s picking out a Christmas tree ornament, deciding on a holiday meal, or choosing which family events to attend, letting them have a say helps build their confidence.
7. Be cautious with gifts
Gift-giving can be emotionally charged for adopted children, especially if they’ve experienced neglect or inconsistent care in the past. Avoid overwhelming them with too many presents, and focus on thoughtful, meaningful gifts rather than material abundance.
8. Prepare for questions and comments
During family gatherings, well-meaning relatives may ask questions or make comments about adoption. Prepare gentle responses in advance, and consider how much of your child’s story they are comfortable sharing. Protect your child’s privacy while educating others about adoption etiquette.
9. Acknowledge the past
Holidays can bring up memories of birth families. If appropriate, acknowledge this part of your child’s history. You could light a candle in remembrance, include their birth culture’s traditions, or create a safe space for them to express any thoughts or emotions.
10. Prioritise connection
The holidays are a perfect time to deepen your bond. Focus on shared experiences rather than perfection. Building trust through small, meaningful moments—like baking together, watching movies, or taking a walk—can help your child feel loved and valued.
By being sensitive to your adopted child’s needs and creating a supportive, inclusive environment, you can help them enjoy the holidays in a way that feels safe and special.
